A Quiet Night of Strangelove
by Neena Varscona
Summary: All Wilson wanted was a quiet night. What was he thinking? HouseWilson. Dialogue only challenge fic.


Author's Note: This is my first attempt at a House fic. It's short and silly, and it's a response to Buffy's 'dialogue-only' challenge. So here it is, dialogue only…with smut between the lines.

* * *

"Move over. Don't you know it's rude to make a cripple sit in the crappy chair?" 

"Sorry. I didn't see the handicap sign when I sat down."

"I don't need a sign. It's my couch."

"It's after midnight. So…technically this is now my bed, not your couch."

"Well, if you're gonna burn me on technicalities…Shove over. There. Now isn't this cosy?"

"Don't turn that on."

"It's midnight, right?"

"So?"

"Midnight means midnight movie. Tonight's is "Dr. Strangelove"—number forty-nine on our list of must-see movies with the word 'doctor' in the title."

"Not tonight, House. I have an early day tomorrow. You promised you'd let me have a nice quiet night."

"What could be nicer and quieter than a Peter Sellers movie about nuclear weapons? And anyway, if you were so worried about staying up late on a school night, then why'd you come here?"

"Let's…not go there."

"Hmm."

"I'm serious. I don't wanna talk about it."

"I didn't say anything."

"No. But you had that look."

"I have a lot of looks. Books have been written on the vast repertoire of looks I have—you'll have to be more specific."

"_That_ look! That smug, mock-innocent, 'I-know-there's-more-going-on-then-he's-telling-me' look."

"Wow, I didn't know my face was so chatty."

"Just watch your movie…but turn the sound down a little. And unless you give me a little more room, you're gonna force me to use you as a pillow."

"…"

"Fine. But I don't want to hear any complaints about your leg falling asleep."

"Mmph."

"Sorry. It's not easy getting comfortable when your couch has such a big lump in it."

"I've been called worse."

"Undoubtedly. Now, can I get some sleep?"

"Of course."

"…"

"…"

"So…what did you do to piss off Julie this time?"

(Sigh) "I knew you wouldn't let it go."

"Tell me what you did, and I promise I'll turn off the T.V. and let you get some sleep."

"I didn't _do_ anything."

"So it was something you said to her."

"More like something I didn't say."

"Well that makes sense. Mimes can be so infuriating."

"…She asked me if there was someone else…"

"And you said…"

"Nothing."

"Hm. I think I see where you went wrong there."

"I couldn't lie to her."

"It's not like you have anything to lie about. You're not having an affair. If you were, I'd know about it, seeing as you spend every minute away from home with me. So, unless I'm the one she's worried about…"

"…"

"That's it? She thinks there's something going on between us?"

"I've said all I'm going to say. Can we turn off the T.V. now?"

"Why didn't you just tell her the truth?"

"Turn off the T.V."

"Unless…"

"I've got an early day tomorrow."

"…You couldn't lie to her. Meaning you think there _is_ something going on here."

"Please, just shut up for once, House."

"You can't drop a bomb like this on me and expect me to just turn off the T.V. and go to bed."

"I didn't drop any bombs! You're the one dropping bombs here. Now give me the remote."

"You didn't say the magic word."

"Give it to me."

"Not until you ask nicely."

"Greg…"

"No."

"Fine. Then I'll get it myself."

"Heheh…that tickles."

"Give me the remote."

"Why? When it's so much fun making you work for it. Getting warmer…warmer…"

"…"

"…"

"Uh…Greg…what's that?"

"Gee, I don't know, Jimmy. What's long and hard and definitely not the remote?"

"Does this mean…? I mean, do you…too?"

"How many years of schooling have you had? And still you can't finish a simple sentence. Before you start glaring at me, the answer is: yes, it does mean… and yes, I do, too."

"But you never… How long?"

"Phnph. You call that a sentence? The way I see it, we can either turn off the T.V., pretend this never happened and stay awake all night worrying, or we can turn off the T.V., go to my bedroom and stay awake all night doing something a lot more fun than worrying. Either way, I don't see you getting any sleep tonight."

"I, uh…I don't know what to say."

"Great, then you can shut up and kiss me already."

"Gladly. But first…"

click


End file.
